Embracing ADHD

As a parent of a child that was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 4 I can tell you it was not easy. Those letters come with such a stigma, it is actually pretty sad. My son will be 13 in 9 days. It is fascinating to think about and see the changes and struggles we have been through these last few years. He has had teachers that have been awesome in working with us and then we have had teachers that have wanted to put him in what they call “SPECIAL CLASS”.

These children are extremely intelligent, funny and bursting with energy that we all wish we had. It is easy as a parent to become very impatient with learning how to manage the challenges. Be careful not to flood these children with negativity as this can be very detrimental. Learn what works and what doesn’t. Encourage them to face their challenges and not make excuses for themselves.

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Why Not?

Although a huge portion of my life is very structured and scheduled I am a very spontaneous person. I like doing things on the fly. Randomly waking up on the weekend and thinking, hmm what are we going to do today. Deciding to travel 2hrs away to go to a state park and explore. My kids ask me WHY… My Response.. WHY NOT..

Letting your children discover who they are not what we want them to be.

Everyday I think we learn something new  when it comes to raising our children. As a parent we want the best for our children. We have to be careful though as to no live through our children. I think parents have the best intentions and may not realize that what they are doing is affecting their children negatively.

Having certain expectations is necessary. I am  talking about putting unnecessary pressure on your kids because of what you want as a parent or because you did not accomplish or do something as a child.

We have to let our kids become their own people with their own likes, dislikes, goals, etc.

Just  because we may not agree with, like, share the same thoughts, etc. If you want to have a healthy relationship with your children then we must accept this. I want my kids to come to me for advise, if there is a problem, whatever it may be. I want them to know that no matter what it is, no matter how bad it may be. I will always be there for them. The good the bad the ugly. We are the one person in their life that should and will have their backs forever. This does not mean that we will not be disappointed, etc. It simply means that we love them unconditionally.

I was prompted to write this because my son came to me and told me that a friend at school came in  and his head had been shaved.  I asked him why-he proceeded to tell me that his friend would not fight back against another kid. When this kids parent found out that he would not fight back and lost the fight-that was his punishment-Shaved his head. I was absolutely horrified by this and so was my son.

I do not understand the ignorance of people.

 

Daily Life

So I wake up at 5 am everyday, have a cup of coffee and watch the news until 5:30 am. I take a shower and prepare for the day. I manage (2) companies which is 99.5% male dominated. At times I feel like I have 15 more kids to take care of. (HAHA) My son does not have to be at school until 9 am. My daughter is a junior in HS, she drives,  is very responsible and independent. She also gets up at 5 am. School for her starts at 7 am. From 6:30 until 8:30 I work on my laptop in my kitchen getting the day started for the businesses. I wake my son up at 7:30 am which is not an easy task. I take multiple phone calls and make multiple phone calls daily during this time to ensure the instructions I have given at work are followed through with. At this same time I am making sure my son has showered, completed his normal hygiene requirements.(why is it so hard to get a 12 yr old to brush his teeth and put deodorant on?). At 8:30 i leave to get my son to school which is a 30 min. drive from home. During this time I would say 15 min of that is spent on the phone dealing with work issues. Sometimes I even ignore the calls so I can talk with my son about the school day ahead or random things. I then feel anxious to return those calls to ensure things are handled properly. Most of the time that in itself annoys me.

Due to traffic I generally get to the office by 10 am. It is busy ALL day mainly because I deal with incompetent people or maybe they are just lazy. That is a whole other subject though! I leave the office between 4-4:30 pm to go pick up my son from school. I leave this early to avoid sitting in traffic for hours.  I generally get home between 5:30-6.  Its almost like your day is just starting though. What am I going to make for dinner, need to make sure homework is completed, are there after school events that I need to get to, how many loads of laundry do I need to do, etc.

The struggle is real!-Working Moms REALLY are SUPER.

Working Moms

As a full time working mom I know that we feel like overworked, unappreciated slaves at times. Stay at home moms fell this as well but are less likely to think about that because they are in a position where they do not have to work (outside of the home). They have the privilege of being able to stay home and take care of their children. Let me be clear though, being a mom is a full time job in itself. I personally have been a stay and home mom and now I am a full time working mom. I understand both sides and the daily challenges of each.

From my personal experiences I know that we as moms often do not talk about these things as we feel that we will be judged. I am here to say speak, say what you want to say. The things that we all as moms think, the majority does as well, they  are just not spoken. I too use to feel that way as well until I woke up one day looked at myself in the mirror and said I love being a mom but being a mom does not have to mean that you lose who you are. It does not mean that your not important or that what you think and say makes you any less